


Loving you

by Bsoftbomb



Category: Big Bang (Band), Winner (Band)
Genre: Coming Out, F/M, Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-03 00:24:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10955841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bsoftbomb/pseuds/Bsoftbomb
Summary: "Someone... Well, a friend of mine... Was at the party you were all last week..." OH MY GOD, KILL ME, KILL ME NOW! "And he saw Seungri declaring he's undying love for his leader, and appereantly, not in a platonic way." Seungri was trembling, it's now, finally that's no way he will be able to bullshit his ass out of this situation, BIGBANG will continue as four, goodbye Lee Seunghyun. "Someone care to explain?""I... It was a joke?"





	Loving you

**Author's Note:**

> Not Beta-ed

"Lee Seunghyun, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Oh c'mom, It's not like I am asking for you to have sex with me in front of everyone!" Seungri whined. Why couldn't his best friend just do it for him?

"It might as well be, why would you think that would work? All your members know me, they would never fall for that!"

"Why not? It makes perfect sense, we are friends for a few years, c'mom Lim, help me!"

"Me and you? Together?"

The girl laughed, it's not like Seungri isn't boyfriend material, he's just not for her. The brunette just could not understand why her best friend needed to do this, wasn't he in love with Jiyong or something?

"What? I would be a perfect boyfriend!" Seungri pouted.

"I'm sure you would, but Ri, why exactly do you want to do this? The last time we talked in this same restaurant by the way, you said you were in love with your leader! How do you think that showing up with a girlfriend will make your chances with the dragon any better?"  
The BIGBANG maknae sighed, he knew it wasn't going to make things happen between him and Jiyong, he wasn't even with any hope, honestly, after the party incident last week the only thing he could do to save his current friendship with his hyung was getting himself a girlfriend, so that his hyungs hopefuly stopped avoiding him.

"But Lim, after the party... I told you! You already know all the reactions! I know my hyungs are not homophobic, but the moment I put out there that I kinda loved Ji hyung, they froze! All four of them looked at me like I had said that I killed pandas or something worse... I just need they to forget about that, for the whole week all the members simply ignored me, I even asked Daesung hyung about it and he just turned around and left!"

"Maybe he was in a hurry t-"

"He had just entered the bathroom, he was going to pee, I asked, and he ran" Seungri was nearly crying at this point. "He ran! He didn't even peeed... "

"Oh baby, I'm sorry." Lim felt bad for her friend, Seungri didn't deserve that, he always talked so much about his members, being ignored like that must have hurt.

"I just don't know what to do anymore... Please, I can't find me a real girlfriend, or boyfriend, right now when I'm still clearly liking him, just help me, pleaseeee." Seungri hold his hands together in front of him pleading, thank god they were in a secluded place in the restaurant, imagine the news if anyone listened to this, BIGBANG SEUNGRI BEGS FOR GILFRIEND IN PLAINE MIDDAY, that would have to top the towel scandal.

"Ok, but no kissing! I don't know how I feel about kissing someone that it's basically my brother from another mother..."

"What? You would be lucky to kiss me." The panda boy made kissy faces at his new "girlfriend".

"Ewwwww, get away from me" She laughed and pushed his face away.

"Ok, thanks boo, now we need a story!"

"A story?"

"Yeah, about how this happened--"

"Oh honey, that's no need for you to think any further, It's quite simple actually, we were drunk at the party, we made out, it was good, because it's me and everything with me is good." Lim winked." And now we are trying this relationship thing to see if it works... This way when you feel that everything is normal in the BIGBANG drama world we can just say that experimental time is over."

"That makes sense, yeah, you are right! It's perfect!"

"Of course it makes sense, it's Kim Lim's idea after all."

Seungri laughed, yeah, maybe this time things wore goint to be good.

* * *

  
Lee Seunghyun was nervous, waiting at the studio for the time he was supposed to meet the other members at the YG office never felt so terrifying, and that's something.

"Hyung? Are you okay?" Mino, the Winner kid, looked at him confused.

"Huh? Yeah, of course I am, why?"

"Well, I'm not complaining but it's pretty rare for hyung to be here in my studio" Mino smiled while scratching the side of his face. "And since you entered here you've been walking from side to side..."

Seungri sighed and sat down on the sofa.

"Sorry, It's just that somethings happened and I'm afraid that I am probably in more trouble than I imagined..."

"What do you mean?"

"It's just... I may have found a girlfriend, well, we are friends, but we decided to date for a while, and I am suposed to tell hyungs today."

"Oh, congratulations! Don't worry, I am sure they will be happy for you, Youngbae hyung even went public with his relationship!"

"Yeah, you're right, everything's gonna work well, thanks."

Seungri smiled, he liked being close with his juniors, because of tight schedules that was a little hard, but since BIGBANG had just ended all promotions, he was having some free time to make some friends.

"Of course hyung, anytime, do you wanna listen to the new music I'm making while you wait? It's not as good as Jiyong hyung, but..."

"Of course Mino-ah, let's listen!"

Mino smiled nervous and put the song to play. It was good, really melodic, Seungri enjoyed this type of songs, it calmed him down a lot.

"It's a great song, I'm really impressed by the way, your song sounds very deep... I just hope that's not because of a sad reality..."

"Oh, is it that obvious?"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Actually... Yes, I don't think I can talk about this with any of the members." The younger singer sighed, he was afraid, but maybe talking about it would make all these 'feelings' go away?

"So talk, I still have some time, you helped me a little, let me return the favor."

"Hyung... M-maybe... Maybe I am... I might... I'm liking one of my members? Ugh, I don't know, I've never liked a guy before, but to think that is one of my members? Maybe is just that we pass a lot of time together and I am just getting confused? I am scared, I don't even know how to talk with any of them anymore, I'm always getting self conscious, and I think they know something is wrong... I have no idea what to do, I'm just feeling completely lonely, now everything I work on just turns out to be sad..."  
Mino took a deep breath, he was scared of Seungri reaction, but he really needed to talk to someone about that, he didn't trust anyone with that, the now back to black hair hyung just seemed to be there at the right time, and now that the cat is out of the bag it felt like he could breath a little better.  
Seungri blinked, this gotta be a joke, how could Mino's situation be so like his? Was this a joke? He could laugh if it wasn't for his junior's sad expression.

"Ok... I'm happy that you trusted me to talk about that. And actually, now I am feeling like an asshole for lying to you..." Seungri sighed. "My problem is the same as yours, and I am a idiot that actually talked about me having feelings for Jiyong hyung during a party, in front of everyone and now they are acting weird ignoring me just because of the possibility that what I said was real instead of a drunk mistake, so now I guilt tripped my best friend to pretend be dating me so that they talk to me again, because I am a idiot that knows that this is not gonna work out well but I have no idea what to do anymore." Seungri laughed bitter at finally understanding that this plan is not gonna work, whatever, at least he isn't asshole enough to actually push a friend away just because of some stupid feelings, he's not gonna cry.

"H-hyung..." Shocked was an understimated feeling for what Mino felt now, he had no idea that the forever playboy of YG was actually in love with his leader, I mean, everybody knew they were pretty close, but like that? After wall the scandals, especially with GD and Kiko on and off relationship, how hard must it be for this hyung?

"For how long?"

"I don't know Mino-ah, It wasn't something that I woke up and thought _'hey, I am in love with G fucking Dragon'_ , if only I knew since the beggining maybe I would have be able to just stop this feeling from growing, but now? Now is a little to late to avoid the heartbreak," Seungri smiled sadly. "Now I am just hoping that with enought time and a lot of distraction maybe I could pass trough this and just forget about it."

"Woah hyung, I had no idead... But I guess I get it"

"Yeah, all of this sucks!"

"Well, I'm sure you're gonna pass trough this hyung, you are Victory right?"

Seungri smiled, sometimes he forgot how good it was to talk with his juniors. They continued to listen to some songs, and the panda boy even sang in some tracks, he might as well be useful to his new confident right? But then, the time to face his hyungs had come and with much misery Seungri took the elevator to the last floor.  
Calm down god dammit! Just put your poker face on and everything is gonna be alright, don't worry, let's be happy, just like Bob Marley said, oh my god, that dude knew how to live, totaly different from me and my undenying crush on my hyung, that right now is the size of the fucking earth.

"Hey."

Seungri looked up to see his four hyungs in the wating room, except all of them were on their phones with the exeption of Daesung, that was looking at him with the most fake smile he ever saw in his hyung, It wasn't a good look, at least not for this maknae that was familiar with the real one. For real, do they even talk anymore? Well, at least this time he had some kind of reception.

"Hey hyungs! Let's hope this time I didn't fucked up too much right?" Smile, smile, make a joke. "It's been some time since the boss called all of us, maybe he just misses us?"

"Hm." Really Jiyong? Couldn't you make a simple smile? Are you even trying to fake things? I can't pretend that everything is fine all by myself guys!

Not long after all of us entered the boss's office.

"Hello kids, do you know why all of you are here?"

YG was seating behind his desk while all of us loked at the floor, standing in the middle of the room.

"Someone... Well, a friend of mine... Was at the party you were all last week..." OH MY GOD, KILL ME, KILL ME NOW! "And he saw Seungri declaring he's undying love for his leader, and appereantly, not in a platonic way." Seungri was trembling, it's now, finally that's no way he will be able to bullshit his ass out of this situation, BIGBANG will continue as four, goodbye Lee Seunghyun. "Someone care to explain?"

"I... It was a joke?"

"A joke? Really Seunghyun? You thougth of putting your whole group at risk for a joke?"

Yup, he was so going to get fired, dammit, It had been such a long time since he was scolded like this by his boss... Usually there was more screaming, but he's not gonna test his luck on that one because of curiosity.

"He jokes about it all the time on cameras, we can make this pass as fanservice again, right?" Youngbae hyung, bless his soul, tried to make things better, if only the other members tried too. YG laughed. Dear lord, this is worse than he thought, he was so going to die.

"You all want to pass this as fanservice? This?" His boss turned his monitor around for us to see, only to press play, where a video of the party started playing.

_'Hyuuuuuuung... ' Seungri was crying._

_'What the hell maknae? Drama much? How long have you been drinking?' Seunghyun looked at his dongsaeng worriedly._

_'Who are you crying for?' 'Do you need some water?' Daesung and Youngbae asked while trying to see their maknae's face._

_'Did someone dump you?' Jiyong smiled fondly at Seungri, only to be shocked as the panda cried harder, none of them seeing the girl filming all of this trough the door of the VIP room, the club sound high enough to mask any outside noise._

_'YES! YES I WAS!'_

_'Calm down Ri, we are right here, who dumped you?'_

_'You! You dumped me!'_

_'What?'_

_Daesung, Seunghyun and Youngbae just kept looking betwen the leader and the maknae trying to understand the situation._

_'Why can't you love me too? Why do you have to always be with someone? I thought... I thought... ' Seungri gulped. 'When you were with Kiko I respected that! I was sad but I respected your relationship, I didn't see her that much anyway... But now, when that is finally over you go ahead and be with someone close to all of us! Really? Do you want to see me going crazy?' Seungri knew he probably shouldn't be saying all of this, but he drank, a lot, and he was tired, of everytinhg!_  
_Realization and shock seemed to settle in the others members faces, all together with fear._

_'Seunghyunnie... What are you saying? Is this a joke?'_

_'I'm sorry that my feelings are a joke to you hyung, but I can't do this anymore, I can't stop loving you and I'm sick of this! Why do I have to love you? Why?'_

_Jiyong didn't know what to say, he would never imagined his maknae would be gay for him._

_'Are you coming out? Is that your way to say to us that you are gay?'_

_'No, Seunghyun hyung, I'm bi ok? I'm bi and in love with our never alone leader, and I'm tired of it. ' Seungri sniffed, his voice growning quieter. 'Why? Why do I have to love you? And why can't you love me too?'_

_'Ri... I'm not... I can't... You shouldn't-'_

_'I know! Just... Forget it.'_

And just like that the video stop it. The silence in the room was too big for Seungri.

"I'm sorry..."

"Sorry doesn't help anyone right now Lee Seunghyun."

The other members loked at their boss with the most fearful expression the maknae ever saw on his hyungs's faces.

"Is this true? Are you bissexual?"

"Y-yes..."

"I don't know how you are so luck Seungri" The CEO smiled while looking at him. Lucky? What? The members seemed as confused as he felt.

"Lucky?"

"Yes, this video is actually on every SNS site you can imagine since this morning..." How did he not see this? "Wich means the whole world has seen it. And although there are very bad responses, the marjority is seeing you as fucking hero, a lot of producers have already made contact with us, requesting you for theirs shows, dramas and movies. That being said, you all will go into a press conference right after this meeting and awnser a few question, in witch Seungri will formally state his sexuality, no question about the nyongtory relationship are allowed, but if someone asks, just don't awnser it right now, we will think of something, until then the only information the public has is what was on the video, understood?"  
The boys nodded while still trying to understand what has happened.

"You all will show to the media that you support your maknae." YG sighed while looking at Seungri. "You will also start to prepare a solo album, put all your feelings in this, ok? I saw trough the cameras that you were working on something with Mino, it's good for both of you if a single came out now." Seungri slowly nodded while Jiyong looked surprise to hear that. "Any questions?"

"Is... Do... Am I gonna be in a fake relationship with him? Is this what you are preparing and that's why we can't talk about it?" Wow, the fake part in Ji hyung question actually hurt more than he thought.

"What? No!" YG standed up at that. "On the contrary, Seungri is to be seen as single for a good amount of time now, attracts all kind of public, and he can't date right now as well, people wouldn't look with good eyes on someone who said to love another person suddenly over it!" Their boss went to the front of the table, crossing his arms. "I'm sorry Seungri, but I need you to be single while you are suposed to be trying get over being rejected. " The maknae winced. "Sorry... I know it's not fair or easy, but if you still want a career that's what we are gonna do, you don't need to pretend that everything is joyful between you and Jiyong, but you all will have to show to the fans that there's no bad blood."

The boys nodded again.

Once out of the CEO's office the news seemed to really hit them.

"So... Hyungs wanna talk before the press conference?" Seungri asked staring at the ground. "I'm really sorry you know? I didn't want to do this in this way, involving the group--"

"Anything a member does involves the group." Jiyong cut his maknae. It just wasn't fair, why the hell did Seungri suddenly discover himself as bi? And why the fuck did he have to be in love with him? Little Seunghyun was his brother, he didn't want to hurt his feelings but there's just no way he is gonna be able to see his dongsaeng like that.

"There's no time to argue now idiots." Top face palmed. "It doesn't matter anyway, we are brothers and we support each other right?"

"Right..." Taeyang smiled. "Look Ri... I'm sorry that we reacted badly ok? But you have to understand how much of a surprise all that you said was... We just would never have imagined that you liked Jiyongie... The fact that you are bi is more easy to understand since you made a image of a playboy, but that you actually are in love with someone for so long and that someone is him? It's just... Difficult to process."

Seungri nodded. Youngbae hyung was right, he had years to be confortable with his feelings, his hyungs were probably still in shock. Honestly, this was all crazy.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! My first Bigbang fic, sorry for any mistakes! I just wanted to read a story like this for a while now, so I stopped being lazy for once and decided to write xD
> 
> If you wanna talk to me: http://bsoftbomb.tumblr.com/


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